Dec 112011

It’s 11pm and I’m about to go to bed.  If you know anything about me, this is unusual.  I usually go to sleep around midnight or later.  In fact, going to sleep late and getting up early isn’t that unusual for me.  Used to do it all the time.   But for some reason I am completely wiped out every night.

And it’s not like my son Nathan is a hard baby at night.  He actually sleeps 10 to 12 hours a night.  He goes to sleep around 6 pm and wakes up around 5:30 or 6 in the morning.  So you’d think I should have nothing to complain about.  I know of parents who suffer through truly cranky and/or colicy kids all night.  And I used to do this kind of schedule all the time.

I remember only a couple of years ago that after working 12 hour days I’d go workout at 11pm to avoid the crowds at the gym and not got to bed til 2 or 3 in the morning.  You’d think that that would be more exhausting.  Nope.  That was cake compared to a day spent taking care of my boy.  I don’t quite understand why this is.  Taking care of my son and spending the day with him is a blast, but man I feel like I got run over by a truck.

I have to say that this is truly the most joyous but also the most physically hardest thing I’ve ever done.


Nightly Musings: Three Generations

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Sep 042011

My parents are in town this week, which is one of the reasons that I’ve been unable to post regularly.  Kinda paradoxical, considering that I actually took a week off to be with them (they live in NYC and this is their first time seeing Nathan in person) and I thought that I’d have more time to write since I’m home.  Not true – I’ve actually had less time because I am spending more time interacting with the baby, with my parents, with the family, etc.

Anyway, here I am, almost midnight, and I just finished dream-feeding the little guy, and my Dad is sleeping in the living room, and I sit here and think how it’s amazing that there’s three generations of Kim men under my roof right now.  Supposedly I look a lot like my dad, and act like him too (according to my Mom).  We’re both impatient, can be temperamental (although I like to think I’m much better at this than him), and can act like a little school boy when we get excited about something.  Now I see this little guy – he can’t talk yet so I have no idea what he’s thinking – but here he is, all temperamental when his diaper is wet (he’s a veritable diaper diva!), unwilling to wait an extra second when he’s hungry, and he gets all excited and hyperventilates when he sees something he likes.

I’ve always been happy to be be told that I’m very much like my Dad – even the things that we get made fun of or the things that my Mom complains about the both of us, it gives me a weird pleasure to know that I’m like him.  And now here is little Nate – a splitting image of me and my Dad.  I wonder how much like the two of us he will be when he’s older?  I wonder if he’ll be happy to hear that he’s like us?


Nightly Musings: Shifts? What shifts?

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Aug 192011

So it’s 3am and both ny wife and I are wide awake now. Nathan woke up fussy, on the verge of crying. We tried to shoosh-pat, pacifier, picking up and swaying, the 5 S’s – everything. Nope, we ended up having to feed the kid.  So my wife is breast feeding him.

In theory, I could sleep when she does this. But practically, that never happens.  I have to prep her pump for her, after the feed I change Nathan’s diapers because he pees when he feeds, and I have to refill the humidifier because its so friggin dry here in SoCal that if we don’t use one Nathan’s nose gets dry and his snots get impossible to remove.  So after all of that, I’m awake and here I am bloggin from my phone (ok, that parts cool).

Everyone keeps yelling me that we need to do it in shifts, but I don’t see how that is possible when we both have things to do for the baby.  For those of you guys who do this in shifts, how do you do it?


Nightly Musing: “Not Hungry”

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Aug 172011


So here’s my boy asleep.  He has been a pill all day, all weekend in fact.  He’s been cranky, ill tempered and impatient.  Not sleeping and when he does, only for 30 minutes at a time.  And yet, once he settles down, knocks out and gets peaceful, he tickles my heartstrings and just makes me break out into a big giant grin.  I’m exhausted, tired, sleepy and hungry, and yet, all I want to do is stare at this kid.

There’s something my parents used to tell me when I was a kid.  During meals, I’d sometimes find them just staring at me without eating, and I’d ask them why they did that and why they weren’t eating.  Their answer was (and I’m going to paraphrase very badly from Korean) that “even if I don’t eat, just looking at you makes me feel full”.  When I was a child, I thought that was dumb, then as I got older I understand conceptually what they meant.  But now that I have this little guy, I think I really do understand what they meant.