So here’s my boy asleep. He has been a pill all day, all weekend in fact. He’s been cranky, ill tempered and impatient. Not sleeping and when he does, only for 30 minutes at a time. And yet, once he settles down, knocks out and gets peaceful, he tickles my heartstrings and just makes me break out into a big giant grin. I’m exhausted, tired, sleepy and hungry, and yet, all I want to do is stare at this kid.
There’s something my parents used to tell me when I was a kid. During meals, I’d sometimes find them just staring at me without eating, and I’d ask them why they did that and why they weren’t eating. Their answer was (and I’m going to paraphrase very badly from Korean) that “even if I don’t eat, just looking at you makes me feel full”. When I was a child, I thought that was dumb, then as I got older I understand conceptually what they meant. But now that I have this little guy, I think I really do understand what they meant.